Santa's Elves don't make this unique brand of crap.  
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Bikini Turkey
I'm not completely original.  I don't invent every single thing on a site like this, but sometimes I see something and wonder "how did they do that?".  This is one example of that.  I think I first saw a bikini turkey about 10 years ago.  It might have been at a postcard shop in Key West or something like that.

I decided that with this latest book project, I would figure out how to make the bikini turkey.  My son Mark and I decided to give it a shot.  

First, I put the turkey in a pan.  Next I cut out an aluminum foil bikini for it.  We secured it with toothpicks.  Next, I roasted it in the oven, just like you would normally.  

I only made two changes.  For one, I placed the wings behind the neck of the turkey.  Two, I put a baking potato where the neck would be.  This held up that big flap of skin and make the turkey look more human.  There are some other minor tricks to consider, you'll have to wait for the book to come out for those.  Here is the finished result.

There you go, a turkey with a tan line.  I like to call it the bikini turkey.  

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